Updated: Sep 28, 2018
There, I said it. It’s out there.
I did not burst into flames, hell did not freeze over, and pigs are not flying. Well, at least not until some kid straps one to a drone.
Motherhood has me by the balls right now. Being a momma is gut wrenching hard work.
The day-to-day life of a mom, is 100% nothing like the cute pictures on your social media pages. First of all, it took 23 pictures to get that one cute face, after which the kid probably spit up all over their adorable designer baby outfit.
Pre-motherhood, no mom on earth could possibly drown your ears in enough advice or warnings to help you truly mentally prepare for this gig.
If you would have asked me in my early twenties if I wanted to have kids, I would have laughed and said, “MAYBE when I’m 30!” Well look whose laughing at who now. (Me — I am laughing — at myself)
I am twenty-eight, I have a four-year-old and a two-year-old. You do the math on that one pumpkin. Motherhood crept up on me rather quickly. Shit — adulthood crept up on me for that matter.
I have always been responsible and mature for my age, but none of that helped me adequately prepare for motherhood. This job is nuts.
Motherhood is pure and utter chaos on a repeating daily basis.
It makes you want to race to the airport and book the first one-way flight out. Then in the very next moment, it makes your heart explode with overwhelming love and you know that no one is qualified enough to take your place and you would take a bullet for that needy little human of yours.
Basically, what I am trying to get across here is — that I have felt like a clinically insane person since my first pregnancy, and the insanity hasn’t let up. In fact, it has increased ten-fold.
Motherhood is a constant battle between yelling at my toddlers and telling myself to give them some grace. While also trying to remember that these tiny humans are not able to fully regulate their emotions yet, and I am not exactly setting the best example for them to learn how to do so.
I am going to say another dirty thing here, so bear with me. I am going to say a thing, that no one will tell you in all of their “what to expect when expecting” and how-to-mother, advice rants.
At some point in your motherhood journey, you will question why you become a mom at all.
It might be at 2am, when you haven’t slept in 4 months and your sweet baby just woke up for the seventh time that night. It might come when you are cooking dinner, and you are screaming “do not bite the dog again!” It might happen when you realize that you are emitting a particular funk, and you cannot remember the last time you took a shower. It might happen when you walk into a room and find your toddlers diaper off, and they are painting on the walls with a brown substance that is all over their hands. It will be different for every mom, but it will happen, if only for a brief moment, you will think “why the hell did I want to do this?”
Just as briefly as the thought entered, it will exit — because you will have work to do. You have to soothe a crying baby, feed the family, wash your dirty hair, and clean the walls with bleach. Do not dwell on why you thought the thought — quickly forgive yourself and move on.
Mom life is a roller-coaster. It’s extremely emotional, unpleasant at times, a constant state of fear, energy draining, messy, and quite frankly it is a living — breathing monster. I don’t know who came up with the hashtag, #momlifeisthebestlife — but does that previous sentence sound like a good time to you?
HOWEVER — and here’s your take-a-way.
Mom life is so freaking amazing.
You created a human being from scratch! You willingly devote your life day in and day out, to this tiny person that you made, and you should be in awe of yourself! Even on your very worst day, when you feel like all you have done is yelled, threatened, cried, and done laundry — you are doing a fantastic job, momma! Even when you feel lonely beyond measure, and the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and all you want to do is find a hole to hide in — you are the one that keeps your household functioning and you are kicking ass at it.
Motherhood will definitely take a toll on you, mentally and physically. It will require you to continually give more of yourself, when you are certain you have nothing left to give. But oh my sweet momma, your well is never dry.
Mom life may not be the best life — but it sure is the most gratifying life.
Pour yourself a glass of vino, go hide out in your closet to drink it in peace, and give yourself credit for being the bad ass you are.